Some of you may have stumbled accidentally onto this blog; some of you may have sought it out. Either way, you’re here now and are likely wondering why I, a seemingly intelligent, successful woman decided to check out of running her own company and settle on the Island of Grenada for a few months. Well, the answer is both simple and complex, depending on how you look at it. The simple version is that I was granted the opportunity to take care of my friends’ property while they went on an extended vacation and it just so happened that I was in a position that I could take them up on the offer with relative ease. If that’s all you really want (or need) to know, click on over to the blog or photo section to see what I’m up to today. If you’re the type of person who loves to know the whole story, to really get fully immersed and devoted to a Character to understand their motives and idiosyncrasies, read on.
I assure you my story is nothing new; hundreds of thousands of people have been through similar trials or life events. This just happens to be mine. It’s like when you hear a song on the radio and you like the melody and veraciously sing along to the lyrics on your daily commute only to have something drastically change the way to hear the song. Suddenly, that song has a new meaning all together and no longer brings with it the carefree enjoyment it used to. The events that led up to my taking part in this adventure are pretty mundane but to me, they are events that no doubt will from here on out, define my character and my life.
I suppose I should start with a little bit of background. I grew up in a sleepy beach town on the east coast of Florida, the first child to a wonderful set of parents. I truly had an idyllic upbringing; full of love, fun, laughter and travel. I have my folks to thank for my independence, passion for visiting other parts of the world and an unrelenting sense that I was made for big things. I was among the top of my class, making high marks in Honors and AP classes and securing multiple scholarships to various universities. Ultimately, I ended up at good ol’ Florida State University (GO NOLES!) where I supported the school as a cheerleader and graduated one class short of a double major (seriously, the idea of staying an extra semester for ONE CLASS made me want to set fire to my hair and go on strike….although, now I wish I had).
Things mostly went my way, if I’m honest, but it wasn’t because I was just one of those people; I’ve had to fight tooth and nail for every accomplishment and opportunity. Without boring anyone with a drawn out sob story of all my heartaches, I’ll simply say that I’ve been made love-shy by a divorce (NOT blaming my parents for their decision here), I’ve lost everything to a natural disaster, I have many times had my trust betrayed in ways that I have trouble talking about even with my psychiatrist….suffice it to say, it’s not been an easy life but who’s is?
So what happened that led me to sell my home and car, store the rest of my belongings, move far away from my family and friends, and go to a foreign country all by myself? Heartbreak and disillusionment, that’s what.
Before I go any further, let me first say that not all heartbreak is bad. Sometimes, it’s a chance to grow in person and in spirit. In my case, it has made me stronger (yes, totally cliché but damn it, it’s true) as well as more understanding towards others and their own personal journeys. It has taken me years to fully grasp that the world does not revolve around me…I mean, obviously my world revolves around me but not the WHOLE world. Every person has their own path to walk and destiny to fulfill; sometimes that path merges with another and you walk along together for awhile until the time comes to each choose a direction at a fork in the road. Sometimes two people choose the same direction, sometimes not. The latter is what happened in my case. We were together for eight years, most of them great, and when we reached the fork, it was determined that we each needed to take separate paths in order to be happy as individuals and as much as it hurt, it’s OK. We are still very close and have the utmost respect and compassion for each other (heck, we still work together quite a bit) but the transition wasn’t easy for either of us. I must point out, though, that this event was the catalyst to my accepting the chance to move out of the country for a few months. I needed it in order to allow myself to follow the wind. And give myself a proper chance to heal…but more on that in a future post.
The disillusionment really came from realizing that no matter how carefully I laid plans for the future (romantically, professionally, financially), life has a way of messing things up for you. Maybe it’s to keep you on your toes…maybe it’s for the Universe’s own entertainment…whatever the case, life is nothing more than a series of bobs and weaves. The better you become at rolling with the punches, the easier it is to accept that you cannot control a damn thing. This journey is my chance to fully become the master of my own self. My fucked up, compassionate, wild, loving, caring, disconnected, Wandering Self.